VO: The nation's favorite celebrities... Wow.

VO: ..paired up with an expert... Ow.

Ow.

Get it sorted.

VO: ..and a classic car.

She's beautiful.

We're steaming.

VO: Their mission - to scour Britain for antiques.

Is that antique?

I'll take it.

I'll take it.

I'll take it.

VO: The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

VO: But it's no easy ride...

There's a dog chasing us!

VO: Who will find a hidden gem?

I love that.

VO: Who will take the biggest risk?

Ah!

VO: Will anybody follow expert advice?

Yeah, uh, OK, I know what that means.

Whoo-hoo!

VO: There will be worthy winners...

Yes!

VO: ..and valiant losers.

Disaster.

VO: Put your pedal to the metal.

Let's go shopping.

Woo-hoo!

VO: This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

VO: What a gas, eh?

Morning!

(LAUGHS) Oh, he waved.

Ooh!

VO: Uh-oh.

Here comes trouble.

# You can stroke me cantaloupes # But you mustn't touch me plums # VO: (LAUGHS) A huge welcome from the east coast of Scotland, where we're joined by showbiz pals, Kaye Adams and Nadia Sawalha, in a classic Morgan.

Nice!

We've always wanted to do a Thelma and Louise!

Well, no... We're now doing it!

..different ending though.

Yeah.

VO: Nadia is from a renowned acting dynasty and hit the big time with a role in one of the highest rating soap operas of the 90s.

Her earthy humor and honesty has made her a popular panelist alongside bezzie mate Kaye on topical show Loose Women.

But Nadia is also known for her culinary skills, would you believe it?

She's a Masterchef champ.

I feel like I'm gonna be thinner at the end of this.

It's wobbling my fat really well.

You know like those old machines that you used to stand on and do that.

VO: I know the ones.

No, I don't.

(LAUGHS) Journalist and broadcaster, Kaye Adams, is known for her tenacity and warmth.

She's a true television and radio pro.

And very, very brave - look at that.

Am I the only cowardy custard around here?

VO: Kaye became firm friends with Nadia after appearing in the first episode of Loose Women almost 20 years ago.

Together, they've written blogs, released a cookery book, and fooled around in their swimsuits.

Oh, lovely.

This reminds me of a film I did, when we were in one of these... Are you name dropping already?

No, no!

(LAUGHS) It's not even nine o'clock!

(LAUGHS) VO: Gotta love the car banter, haven't you?

VO: Pairing up with our celebrities today is Road Trip freshman, Tim Medhurst, and veteran, Anita Manning.

I love this.

Triumph TR6, 1975.

Yeah!

Bit of retro here.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's in French blue as well.

ANITA: Ooh, la la.

TIM: I know.

VO: Sacre bleu or Wedgwood blue?

Do you think our guests know much about antiques?

ANITA: Who knows?

TIM: Yeah.

Who knows?

Used to collect stamps.

Did you?

(LAUGHS) That's put me off you.

What's your favorite?

Uh, my favorite area, erm... coins, I love.

All he knows about is coins and your woman knows everything.

KAYE: Everything.

NADIA: That's not fair... Anita knows everything.

What if I don't have anything to say to him?

He'll be dashing.

And you, not have anything to say to him?

I might not... That will be right.

VO: Maybe find some common ground, Nadia.

And here's your chance, look.

Hiya!

Woo-hoo!

Hello!

(THEY LAUGH) We've discovered I can't woo-hoo.

Aw, how are you?

How are you?

Lovely to meet you.

Oh, it's so nice... oh, you look like I'm gonna have fun with you.

I can't get out!

Oh no!

Do you want me to come and give you a hand?

I'm coming this way.

VO: Haha, such gallantry.

OK, time to pair up now.

Tim is Team Nadia in the Triumph, and Anita and Kaye will be in the Morgan.

Are you girls competitive?

Well, I am because once, she did a terrible thing to me.

We were climbing Ben Nevis... (LAUGHS) ..and she overtook us when we were going as a team, so she could hit the summit first...

They were chatting, they were mucking about.

Oh, so... And then she overtook us on the way back!

So, she is competitive?

So I'm back in Scotland and I'm gonna win.

VO: Fighting talk, eh?

I love it.

See you there!

(LAUGHS) Don't be too long.

VO: And they're off!

So here we are, we're on the open road.

Oh ho, love it!

Do we know where we are actually now?

Urm, well, I have to say geography isn't my strong point.

Me too.

So I can say comfortably that we are in Scotland.

Yeah!

(LAUGHS) But apart from that, I'm afraid I have no idea.

Nadia, you've worked with for a long time.

Nearly 20 years.

She's the bossiest woman you've ever met in your life.

(LAUGHS) You can't go to the toilet without her telling you how to wipe your bum.

Tim will not know what's hit him.

VO: Today, they start their shopping extravaganza all together in the historic town of Inverkeithing.

Everyone is headed for an auction in Hamilton.

VO: Kaye and Anita are first to arrive.

The bargain centre...

The bargain centre... That's what we're looking for.

Let's hope there are some bargains.

VO: Fleming Furniture & Antiques Centre has a vast array of goodies on offer.

And Kaye has a munificent £400 to spend.

Let the browsing begin.

Right now, I suppose this is the kind of area that you might just find a wee hidden gem, isn't it?

Mm-hm.

It's just so crank full of stuff.

Do you find it peaceful or for you, it's just business, business?

It's kind of compulsive.

Yeah.

You know, you think you've seen it all and you haven't seen it all.

There is still a pleasure, even a sensual pleasure.

Yeah.

Even in this?

There is no sensual pleasure for me in that...

Whatsoever?

..moo cow money bank.

(LAUGHS) Aww.

VO: Poor cow.

He he!

Now, talking of money banks, here's Nadia and Tim.

Are they savers or spenders, I wonder?

Ooh, exciting.

Oh ho ho... We've got 400 quid to spend.

Aw!

VO: Sounds like they're keen to part with their cash.

Could be spenders.

Nadia, what do you think of this?

Shall I get it out?

(WHISPERS) It looks so hideous that maybe it's worth a lot of money.

Actually, that is true... Is that true?

(LAUGHS) ..some hideous things are worth a lot of money.

If that was a Minton one, nicely marked, in wonderful condition, dating to the 19th century, we might have been talking £300, something like that... NADIA: Profit?

TIM: Yeah.

NADIA: Ahh.

TIM: But this is a copy.

NADIA: Oh.

TIM: What a shame.

Right.

Let's carry on looking, shall we?

VO: Yep, let's find something that'll make a profit.

Oh!

Nadia... What you doing?

What do you think of these?

Isn't that hilarious?

Melozets.

I know.

Yeah.

Have you bought some things yet?

Eh, we're not telling you anything.

Oh right.

Shall we get rooting around then?

Come on, let's, let's, let's.

Yeah.

Do you want to wish us good luck?

Uh, no thanks, if that's OK with you?

(LAUGHS) No.

I'm fine with that one.

We don't need it.

VO: Charming.

Back to shopping.

What do you think of that?

Well that's kind of beautiful, isn't it?

Isn't that smart?

That is really beautiful, look at those lovely... Yeah.

..I'm sounding like an antique... Look at the beautiful markings, the beautiful gravings, the beautiful claw feet.

So talk to me about it.

What do you think it is?

Well, first... well, is it a fruit bowl?

It could well be, yeah.

It's... Yeah.

..sort of a tazza or comport, and it's stamped with Elkington.

Now Elkington & Co were one of the best silversmiths and... Really?

..in the 19th century, they produced a lot of things like this.

But it was all good quality.

It really is super smart.

Imagine if you liked antiques, and you have a lovely regency dining table...

Shiny table.

..and that would look great sitting in the middle with a pile of lemons setting the scene.

Oh...

Fantastic.

..you're good, aren't you?

What I love about this one...

The lemons really did it for me.

(LAUGHS) We could even squeeze a profit.

(LAUGHS) I would imagine this dates to around 1870, 1890.

Somewhere in the sort of second half of the 19th century.

So a real Victorian antique.

But it's only 25 quid.

25 quid, you can't go wrong.

VO: Nice item, but at that price because it's silverplate, not silver.

Well, let's get it.

Yeah, I can't see why not.

Let's not hang about.

She is just up there at the top of the stairs.

Well we don't want them coming down and spotting it do we?

No, and you've got quite a loud voice, and I'm really worried they might have heard you.

Sorry, I'll try and... Come on, let's go and buy it.

Yeah OK, let's go and buy it.

VO: Oh, what's that?

That is really pretty.

Kaye, you're a Glasgow girl just like me.

And you've just picked off the shelf what we would call a typical Glasgow jug.

Is that right?

And this would have been made in one of the Glasgow potteries.

Yep.

Victorian times.

Maybe between 1860 and well, the beginning of the 20th century, every home had one of these.

Oh, really?

And it sat on the mantelpiece... Uh-huh.

..next to your wally dogs and your old clock...

I've seen some wally dugs.

(LAUGHS) My granny had two wally dugs.

That's a Scottish thing, isn't it?

It is indeed.

22 quid.

It's for nothing, isn't it?

I think it's lovely.

Let's do it?

Get the bubble wrap.

OK. (LAUGHS) Oops.

VO: Whoops.

Mind your step, good lord.

There we go.

We'd like to take that please.

Certainly.

VO: And still intact, the Glasgow jug is Kaye's, leaving her with £378.

Super.

Thank you very much... We've got a receipt and everything.

VO: Well done.

That's the first item in the old bag.

See ya later!

Now, where are the other two mavericks?

Oh, careful, looks like it's gonna do something.

A hand pump.

(SNORTS) It's a hand pump.

What?

What's wrong?

What's wrong with a hand pump?

(LAUGHING) I don't know.

I don't know what's funny about a hand pump.

It's just inherently funny, anything with a pump, isn't it?

I'm quite happy with it, that's an... What you do with it?

..an Auto Minimax hand pump.

(LAUGHS) For what?

Well, I don't... it's sort of a, erm, I'm guessing... You don't know, do you?

That's cuz you only do coins.

Well, no, I'm guessing it's for fire.

Hang on, erm, "carbon tetrachloride", how am I meant to know about that?

Minimax... oh, it's an extinguisher, you're right.

Oh right, OK.

In all seriousness...

Right.

..with this pump in my hand... (LAUGHS) Go on.

What do you think about buying it?

Cuz you were drawn to it.

Oh my God, do you think that could be a chance?

TIM: (SIGHS) NADIA: What?

TIM: Who knows?

It's quirky... NADIA: Well, I am drawn to it.

..it's novelty.

It's 1950s, I would imagine.

This could go big for us.

Let's get it, let's get it... Well, what's the price?

What's the price?

34 quid, ooh.

Tell you what, shall we put it down?

No.

I tell you what, let's not put it down, let's buy it.

Are you sure?

I just feel sometimes this sort of impulsive moment... OK. Well... ..brings things, because you're not really thinking about the money, you're captured by it... Nadia, I'm not holding you back.

Right.

If you want the pump, you take the pump.

Why is it so funny?

(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) I don't...

I do find it funny as well, but I'm trying to keep a straight face really.

VO: Beats me what the joke is.

OK, let's go find Carol.

Carol.

Hi.

I need this pump.

I need this pump and my dish.

(LAUGHS) Don't be telling me you've given it to Kaye.

I haven't.

Yay!

(CLAPS) Get your cash out, come on...

Right, let's pay the money.

(LAUGHS) VO: That's £59 in total for the silverplated comport and the, erm, well, the naughty fire extinguisher.

There we are.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for having us.

Right there, see ya.

TIM: Thank you.

NADIA: Bye.

VO: No haggle, no hassle.

First two buys, well done.

VO: Kaye and Anita, meanwhile, are heading south on the spectacular Queensferry Crossing.

Kaye... Aw.

..this is fantastic.

Magnificent, isn't it?

We are surrounded by the engineering of Scotland.

VO: Kaye and Anita have headed to Edinburgh to find out how an ancient stick and ball game played thousands of miles away first came to Britain, landing on Scotland's east coast.

Here to tell them more is the lacrosse historian, Jane Claydon.

So Jane, I never imagined there'd be a Scottish connection with lacrosse.

Oh absolutely.

Lacrosse is such a unique sport with a very unique history.

The story is quite remarkable.

VO: The sport has its origins in the indigenous peoples of North America, and possibly stretches as far back as the 12th century.

Games were considered huge events and toughened up young warriors for war.

Was that game... did it resemble the game that we know of today?

Absolutely not.

There were possibly a hundred on a team, maybe even a thousand on a team... A thousand?

(LAUGHS) ..and it covered a huge, huge area.

Well, it would have to, yeah, yeah.

Yes.

They roamed across massive areas of countryside playing this game, and they would probably give up round about sundown.

And then get up again at dawn and begin all over again.

VO: Named 'lacrosse' in 1637 by a Frenchman, the sport became popular with non-indigenous Canadians in the mid-1800s.

In 1876, dentist Dr William George Beers created a new set of rules and reduced the number of players to 12.

And, he started organizing competitive matches around North America.

The game took off, and just a few years later, lacrosse came to Scotland, surprisingly through a girls' school called St Leonards.

When St Leonards was founded in St Andrews in 1877, the girls invented their own game called 'goals', and they were also playing cricket.

But they wanted another game for spring term.

VO: In 1884, St Leonards' headmistress, Louisa Lumsden, was attending a science conference in Montreal, where delegates were invited to watch a game of lacrosse.

She was so charmed with the game she brought it back with her.

And the first game of lacrosse was played on British soil in 1890 at her school in Fife.

Love the tam o' shanters!

Scotland really does play a very kind of important part... Oh, it does!

..in the evolution of lacrosse.

Absolutely.

And the very first games of women's lacrosse were in St Andrews.

VO: Lacrosse is a fast-paced team sport, played to win goals.

And, as these local players know, it requires quick thinking and flair.

Tell us about the skills involved in lacrosse.

Well, they need to be able to catch the ball at any level, really.

So it could be at shoulder-level, it could be at knee-level.

And in order to keep the ball in their stick, they have to learn a technique called cradling, which we are just seeing now.

And this cradling motion - that keeps the ball in their net?

Yes, yes, it does.

And they need to be able to run.

And they need to be able to run.

I'll tell you a secret.

In a past life, I did play lacrosse.

But I didn't play with these fancy plastic things, it was an old hickory stick... A wooden, a wooden stick.

Have you still got it?

D'you know something, I still do!

(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) Do you?

It's one of the few things.

VO: And what about Kaye?

Well, I actually...

I did play it for a year, actually.

Oh, right?

I enjoyed it and, I have to say, I was on the old wooden stick as well.

VO: St Leonards was hugely progressive when it came to women playing sports.

And it wasn't long before lacrosse was firmly established in schools across the country.

But the headmistresses were really keen on the idea of lacrosse, because the girls' posture of course was much better when they were leaping in the air to get a ball, rather than bending over to play a hockey ball.

And I think that was part of the reason why lacrosse became very fashionable...

Right.

..amongst headmistresses.

Posture, posture... You're right.

(LAUGHS) ..posture girls, come on.

VO: Today, the Scottish women's lacrosse team is ranked fifth in the world.

But how will Kaye and Anita compare?

Come on, Kaye.

(CHEERS) Oh ho!

We're off!

(LAUGHS) VO: Kaye's rather good at this.

Wow!

Hidden talents here.

Woah!

Right, Anita.

VO: Go, get it!

Here we go.

PLAYER: Well done!

KAYE: Come on!

VO: Cradling.

VO: Ha ha!

KAYE: Sorry, girls.

Oh, well done.

VO: Bravo!

VO: Meanwhile, our other two playfellows are headed to Falkirk.

VO: They're visiting Collectique, with fire in their bellies and £341 in their pockets.

Ooh, look at this.

Here we are.

NADIA: Ohhh.

TIM: Perfect.

Ah, they've got lots of jewelry.

TIM: Ooh!

NADIA: I love jewelry, I love... TIM: Exciting.

..jewelry, jewelry, jewelry.

VO: Something tells me she wants to buy jewelry.

NADIA: They're a bit new.

(LAUGHS) Aww!

I love these old fashioned ones.

VO: Aye, aye!

Tim's spotted something.

Crikey, you've got equipment out.

I have.

This is looking serious now.

Do you want to have a look?

(LAUGHS) Yeah, what am I looking for?

Right, you tell, you tell me about that.

What do you think?

Do I close an eye or do I...

Yes, well usually.

(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) Hang on a minute, I don't know which eye to close.

I'm looking through the closed eye.

That's not gonna, I've not got a future at this, have I?

Shall I give you a lesson...

Right, there we go.

I'm in.

Oh wow.

I spy a little brooch.

Oh wow.

What do you think?

She's either like a goddess, or she's Medusa.

And looking this close, I'm going to be turned to stone.

(LAUGHS) This is art nouveau at its best.

Oh my God.

I love the art nouveau period around 1900 to 1910...

Right.

In the Edwardian period, people wanted parties.

They wanted to wear flashy jewelry.

So I wonder if we should have a think about that.

Well, no, let's not think.

You always want to do this thinking.

Well, we... Look, it's only eight quid.

I know, but then, we want to kind of spend up, don't we?

We wanna buy big, don't you think?

You already... it's only gonna cost eight quid.

Let's take it in case it's something really special.

It's eight quid.

Come on, you're being silly.

Well, I just think we should just, maybe ponder it a little bit.

I don't agree.

I think we should put it behind, and see if we can maybe buy a few other bits of jewelry to put with it.

If we can't... And what if we can't?

Well then we might decide to buy it.

Buy it anyway, yeah.

But, you know, we've got to bide our time, keep our powder dry.

OK. Yeah.

Let's go and... (SIGHS) TIM: Hi Jasmin.

JASMIN: Hiya.

We'll have that please.

(LAUGHS) Woah, woah, woah, woah.

Don't shake her hand.

Don't, no.

Let's not be... let's not be brash.

Erm, can we put this behind?

Yes, you can.

And we'll have a look around.

Yeah, no problem.

Cuz we've only just got here and there's so many lovely things.

TIM: Thank you.

NADIA: Yes.

He's very sensible.

Right, come on.

(LAUGHS) The rest of the day, if he continues in the way that he is, we're probably gonna fall out.

(LAUGHS) If I don't have that brooch in my pocket within the next few minutes, we're in trouble.

Nadia's got a great eye.

She's got an eye for antiques.

She's got an eye for quality, which is great.

But I find it quite annoying she wants to rush me.

She's just being a bit impulsive at the moment.

And it's driving me mad.

Excuse me.

Are you whispering about me over here?

TIM: Oh, sorry, sorry.

NADIA: Are you?

No, no.

I'm not...

I can hear you, you know.

..I'm just sort of just thinking aloud really.

I was telling them myself that I'm going to fall out with you.

(LAUGHS) VO: Now now, children.

(LAUGHS) Keep your eyes on the prize.

Right, Tim, come and have a look at this.

Ooh.

This is another brooch, isn't it?

Yeah.

Well, it's not stylistically antique-y.

I'm thinking 1960s, 50s... Oh.

..that sort of period.

This sort of almost bark effect jewelry... Yeah.

..was something that was pioneered by a man called Andrew Grima.

And so... (ITALIAN ACCENT) Andrew Grima.

..this has got that kind of look on it.

I have to say though, instantly, I don't think the quality is quite Andrew Grima...

Right.

..because his stuff is top notch, it's beautiful.

However, this does have a really good look.

And it's got a hallmark as well.

The label says nine carat, London import, marked 1967.

So...

Right.

..we're talking 1960s, which is brilliant.

Right.

VO: Nice find, Nadia.

We've got that lovely art nouveau brooch.

Are we getting it now, are we?

Well, we're sort of thinking about it.

And then we've got a 1960s brooch.

It's very of the period.

Right.

1960s.

So we've got two very...

Very, very of the period.

..very definitive periods.

And we can put them together.

You're sounding like a proper auctioneer now.

(LAUGHS) I almost don't want to buy it.

(LAUGHS) Well, why don't we see your negotiation skills?

Oh, right.

I know it's priced up at £85, but if we can get them down a bit and if a couple of people fall in love with it in the auction, it might go for more.

How do you feel about that?

I think that sounds like a good idea.

OK. Well, you take it.

Thank you.

I'll follow you, see what we can do.

VO: Time to see dealer Jasmin again.

NADIA: Hey there.

JASMIN: Hello!

Have you still got our other little brooch there?

We have.

Can we have a look at it?

Hmm.

Oh, they look nice together, don't they?

I just like the contrast in periods.

I like them both, but I need your expertise.

What do you think?

We can't go wrong on that for eight quid, so I think we should buy that.

So we're having that.

So we'll have that, thank you very much.

We'll shake your hand on that one... NADIA: Deal done.

TIM: That's a deal.

VO: Good stuff.

Now, the 60s brooch.

We're looking at about 50 quid, aren't we?

Are you now?

(LAUGHS) I think, I think, yeah.

I think we're looking at 50.

50 feels good!

It does feel good.

Feels good.

Sits nicely.

It's a nice... it's a feel good figure.

I could do 60.

Erm... what about 52 because then it's around 60 quid for the two?

Go on then.

Aww, put it there!

Aw, thank you very much.

Put it there.

Thank you.

I love the Scots!

Aw, they're great, aren't they?

Mind you, you're not Scottish, are you?

(LAUGHS) No.

We love Scotland.

I love Scotland!

(LAUGHS) VO: No need to suck up, now.

The brooches are yours!

Well done.

Right.

I'll just put them in my pocket, shall I?

Yeah.

Look after them, look after them.

Thank you.

Thank you.

VO: Brilliant.

That's today's shopping done and dusted.

What do you do to unwind?

Ooh, well I can be partial to a glass of wine on the veranda.

TIM: Perfect.

NADIA: On occasion.

Sounds good to me.

Um, I can dance on tables.

(LAUGHS) Or sometimes, I can just flop in front of the telly and watch Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Which one shall we do this evening?

(LAUGHS) Let's do all of them!

I'm up for the dancing on tables.

(LAUGHS) The end of a perfect day, apart from the fact... A lovely day, thank you.

..we're under pressure tomorrow.

I think that's good.

ANITA: You like being under pressure?

I do.

I like a deadline, typical journo.

Straight for the jugular.

Straight for the jugular.

We've got one jug.

Now we need the jugular.

(LAUGHS) VO: Good gracious.

Sleep tight, you lot.

VO: Wakey, wakey!

Rise and shine!

Is everyone chipper?

Such a good day yesterday.

I knew you were gonna say that.

(LAUGHS) So exciting!

You know, what fascinates me is I was in the bath with a gin and tonic and you were still out looking.

(LAUGHS) How did you get on with Nadia yesterday?

Did you fall in love with her?

I did.

We had so much fun and she's such a giggle.

How did you get on with Kaye?

Great.

She was terrific fun, but we have a lot of work to do.

Now who knows what's gonna happen?

VO: You've a busy day ahead, that's for sure.

Right, time to couple up and check out what's been bought.

Lalalala!

Morning, morning!

How are we?

Hey, you gals suit that car.

(LAUGHS) We're definitely taking it home.

(LAUGHS) We are having too much fun.

I missed you!

That's fabulous.

I missed you as well!

I can't wait to get going in this car again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Let's see what you've got.

OK. Let's go for it.

I've got to try and get into here.

There we are.

Right.

KAYE: Oooh!

NADIA: Right.

Right, you show off your... NADIA: Da, da, da, da.

We have this beautiful silver plated tazza or comporte... Silver plated?

..literally breathing the neoclassical revival period.

Ask them about the silver.

It's not real silver?

I want you to imagine... ANITA: Ask them again.

NADIA: ..a drop leaf...

It's not real silver?

..highly polished mahogany table... ANITA: Ask her again.

..filled with lemons.

There we are.

It's not real silver?

No.

(HOLLOW RING) Hang on a minute... Did you hear that, Anita?

..you weren't impressed with my bloomin' antiques knowledge!

I never listen to you.

(LAUGHS) VO: As well as the silver-plated comporte, Nadia has also bought a fire extinguisher and two brooches, leaving her with £281 to spend.

Kaye's turn next.

Oh, look at that.

NADIA: Oh, I like that.

TIM: Yeah.

That's really pretty, I'd buy that.

TIM: I love the blue.

NADIA: Yeah, I like that.

Oh!

You've been very nice, that's very kind of you.

No, I do.

I actually really like it.

And it's apparently called a Glasgow jug.

TIM: Oh.

NADIA: How much did you pay for it?

ANITA: £22.

KAYE: 22 quid.

TIM: Oh that's OK isn't it?

NADIA: Yeah that's good.

Yeah, it's nice.

Victoriana.

Come on then, what else you got?

KAYE: That's it.

TIM: Oh.

We're ahead of the game here!

(GASPS) Oh... you're serious... No hang on, hang on.

..you have only got a £22 jug?

No, no, no, no, no.

I got a fizzy drink and a packet of crisps.

(LAUGHS) You're in trouble, you better get in your car.

Yeah, let's go.

Shall we go shopping?

Yeah, we've got a big day.

VO: Right.

They've had a gander.

Nervous?

Anita, I am sweating a bit.

They are well ahead of us.

They're OK.

But we shouldn't be terrified.

Let's be honest, we've got a jug.

We've got a jug.

And we've only spent £22!

(LAUGHS) What did you really think of that jug?

(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) That good?

VO: And I thought she liked it.

Naughty.

Now, Kaye and Anita are headed back to Scotland's capital with £378 spending money.

They're visiting the Edinburgh Antiques Centre, which is a little chic and sophisticated... (CHUCKLES) ..just like this pair!

We've got lots of time to buy.

OK. VO: Time to find some finery.

Oh, Anita, come and look at this.

Wow.

Oh!

(CHUCKLES) Well, it's hardly the Morgan.

Oh, I know, but... You like that?

Well, this is memory lane for me.

My mum and dad had a haulage company, and the very first sort of lorry that we've got photographs of my dad, of the first one that he bought, would be very, very similar... (WHISPERS) You're joking.

..to this one.

And it's actually quite nice, isn't it?

Uh-huh.

I don't know what kind of... Is it realistic.

Is it, is it... Well, I think so.

You have a look.

Let's, let's... Shall we sit down?

It's quite heavy.

Let's... uh-huh.

That takes you back to the golden days of childhood.

Yeah, and my dad's trucks were red.

Is there a market for this kind of stuff?

Toys are hot.

Yeah?

Grown up people want to wander down memory lane and remember their pocket money toys.

Mm-hm.

VO: Yeah, true that.

But how much pocket money would buy this today?

£350.

That is a huge amount of our budget.

Oooh, it's hard this, isn't it?

It's hard, it's hard.

Let's leave it there and we'll carry on.

We'll park it.

We'll pa... (LAUGHS) Wonderful.

VO: Huh.

Time for another browse, eh?

Right Kaye, I like these placemats.

I think they're lovely.

Yeah?

It's for fine dining.

6-7-5!

And that's... 675 quid?

Yes, yes.

The game's aff.

(LAUGHS) We're no' that game.

VO: On we go.

Yes!

Costume jewelry is hot.

Do you like bling?

Erm, not really.

VO: Oh lordy.

Kaye.

Uh-huh, yeah?

Maybe we can't afford that big flatbed truck.

But look, we've got a couple here!

Ooh, yeah.

These are Dinkys, which is good.

Collectable?

Yes.

There are some that are rarer than others.

But I think that there's something really lovely about trucks.

It's articulated.

Yep, uh-huh, I know what articulated means.

Yeah.

I know.

I'm sure you would.

Do you like it?

Yeah.

Well, as you say, it's got that association, isn't it?

I mean, there's that other one there that's a flat truck.

Let's put this one back.

So that's kind of more similar to the one that we had.

Oh yeah?

In fact, it's very similar to the one, look... Is it?

Is it?

Oh, wow!

But that, I'm sounding like a complete geek here, is a long wheel base.

VO: Ticket price?

£25 for the articulated truck.

The long wheel base truck is £30.

I think that these are really a possibility.

They're bringing a smile to your face.

Let's see if we can go and get a deal on those.

Uh-huh.

VO: I'll have no truck with this.

Ha ha.

A potential purchase.

Great!

Let's see what our other pair are up to.

I think we need to pull together and I think we need to find something big and flashy and expensive.

OK.

So like, a seven carat diamond ring?

Yes.

OK. That's the plan.

Yes.

VO: Well, Good luck with that.

VO: Nadia and Tim's next shop is in Innerleithen.

Oooh.

Fantastic.

This looks good.

Oooh.

VO: They're visiting Keepsakes with £281 in their pockets.

It's wonderfully eclectic and owned by Margaret.

Aw, hi Margaret.

What a lovely shop!

Hello.

Lovely to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Aw, this is great.

It's like a little Aladdin's cave.

It is.

I love it.

VO: OK chaps, go forth and rummage!

Do you like silver?

What catches your eye?

I love silver.

Oh, I love all these!

These are beautiful.

Yeah.

That's all a set, isn't it?

So that's quite nice because there's so many pieces.

And it dates to exactly the same date as our brooch.

I do quite like that.

Maybe we could have a look.

OK. Yeah.

Are you... Well, my eye is very drawn to Mister behind you.

Oh!

(LAUGHS) That is... Yeah, he's quite fun, isn't he?

He's wonderful.

Yeah... And look at his eyes, look.

Yeah... Oh my goodness!

They open and close.

That's the sort of thing that somebody would just fall in love with.

So what we've got is a Pelham puppet reindeer.

1950s to 1970s, something like that.

So we're talking a mid century puppet.

Mm.

Can you look any more disparaging?

Oh, sorry.

(LAUGHS) I was trying to be really upbeat about it.

I mean, I love it.

(LAUGHS) VO: Not to Tim's taste, but Nadia's on to something.

Pelham puppets are named after founder Bob Pelham, and early ones were hand-made and hand painted, each one being unique and thus adding to the brand's popularity.

If you like it, shall we just, um... have a think about it and maybe come back to it?

Yeah, let's have a think and then we'll come back and buy it.

He's saying, "yes, think about it".

(LAUGHS) VO: Well, that's a possible then.

Now, what's the goss in Edinburgh?

Kaye.

Hm?

Tell me what you think of this.

It's a little stick umbrella stand.

Umbrella stand, yeah.

I liked it because it was... it's got an arts and crafts look about it.

(COCKNEY ACCENT) It's quality.

Quality, Anita, innit?

(LAUGHS) I mean, you know, it's nicely done, isn't it?

Uh-huh.

Oh, see its wee feet.

Nice wee turn on them.

Yes, yes.

VO: Good spot.

And the ticket price?

135.

135.

Em... if we can get it down a little bit, that would be good.

Under 100 would be nice.

(LAUGHS) If anybody can do it, you can do it.

This is a big item, isn't it?

I did really like that big toy truck, em... but I think it's a bit risky.

So this is a safer bet.

And if we still get our little dinky trucks, we've got an element of that, haven't we?

Yes.

I think that makes sense.

OK, let's go and see him.

VO: I can sense a purchase in the air!

Exciting.

VO: Meanwhile, over in sleepy Innerleithen.

Monkeys!

I love monkeys!

VO: Apparently, she loves monkeys.

Ooh, there's a whole family, there's a baby!

VO: And babies.

(WHISPERS) Little baby!

Oh, they're cute, aren't they?

I love the little one in her hat.

Oh, oh, look!

VO: She likes them in hats too.

They're Steiff soft toys.

Founded in 1877 in Germany, Steiff is a must-have brand for collectors, particularly of monkeys.

The best way to tell a Steiff teddy or toy is that in each ear, quite often, they have a little label.

Ah, like that?

And the two, the mummy and daddy ones, have their original little labels.

Is this not... Ooh and this one does as well in his foot.

Little Steiff, there.

Can we have it?

Can we have it?

Um, well... Can we have it?

Can we have it?

Let's just think about it first.

Ooh!

(LAUGHS) Uh, uh, uh!

What sounds does a monkey make again?

Um, it goes... Raaah!

No, hang on.

No.

Well, they make all sorts of noises.

Ow, ow, ow!

(THEY LAUGH) I better stop.

VO: Good heavens!

Talk about monkeying about.

I like mummy monkey.

Look at her little clothes... She looks a bit miserable.

(LAUGHS) Oh, OK. (LAUGHS) She looks like a monkey that's... She's like, "Go away.

Leave me alone!"

VO: Oh dear.

Now Tim's at it.

We're talking 1950s probably here for the three.

And the miniature monkeys are quite collectable too.

So, yeah... Yeah.

Oh, the miniature, it's got...

Hang on a minute.

It's the three wise monkeys.

Don't you think it looks just like him?

Turn, look.

Show them.

Look.

It's the three wise monkeys.

In the eyes.

(LAUGHS) I'm not joking.

Three wise monkeys!

VO: Two silly muppets, more like it.

Come on.

Let's go and see.

Let's go and see what's the best best price Margaret can give us.

Yeah, and then we can think about it and maybe come back to it.

But wait there.

We'll be back.

VO: OK chaps, down to business.

Of the non-monkeying about type.

(LAUGHS) Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!

Right, Margaret.

Mm-hm.

Tim here, my dear friend, really really loves your reindeer there.

And... You can see him... ..we're also really interested in the monkeys.

Oh, yes.

Right.

The family of monkeys.

So what's the very best price?

No haggling.

Just what's the best price you could give us on those?

If we bought both?

Hm, right.

For them both, OK. Um... 260.

How about 240?

OK. Woah!

Oh, you've done the deal.

Do it, do it!

Put it there, Margaret!

Yay!

(LAUGHS) Thank you, Margaret.

That's lovely.

I suppose we better get some money out.

We've got toys!

Yeah, get your money out.

VO: Terrific.

That's £80 for the Pelham puppet reindeer and £160 for the family of Steiff monkeys.

Thank you, Margaret.

VO: What a menagerie, eh?

Oh my God.

I love it, I love it, I love it!

Look!

Look when he's walking.

I have to say I do quite like him.

Oh look, he's galloping.

VO: (LAUGHS) Nadia's shopping's done, thank God.

But in Edinburgh, Kaye and Anita are still at it.

They're with dealer Campbel.

Hi.

We've got two items...

Perfect.

..that we love.

But we've gotta talk turkey now.

(LAUGHS) Oooh, I don't like the sound of that.

So, this is 135.

I'd love that just to get a wee nudge under the hundred.

Probably the best, best price I can do is 95.

That sounds good to me.

What do you think?

Sounds great.

VO: Nice one!

And the toy trucks?

We'd love to get those as close to 40 as we possibly could.

It's 55...

I could do it for 40 as well.

Oh wow!

Well, that's good.

Aw, that's terrific.

So that's 135.

Look at that, Anita.

VO: Oh, hang on.

Look at that.

What's that?

Is it the bracelet?

That is really nice, isn't it?

Art deco.

That is beautiful.

Oooh.

Oh, that's gorgeous.

Next time you go to a ball.

Right, OK. That is really stylish.

Swarovski.

White crystals, Swarovski.

Well.

Does that say 1930s?

Yep.

Really?

Wow.

145.

What's the best you can do on that?

100.

Listen, if it doesn't sell at auction, I'll buy it for you.

Aww.

VO: Now now, follow the rules!

Time to tot up and pay up.

A bold £235, I'd say, for the three items.

Are you going to take that off, Anita?

Not just now.

(LAUGHS) Not just now.

OK, I'll take the umbrella stand.

You get the trucks.

I'll get the trucks.

And the bracelet.

VO: And with those purchases, Kaye is well on the way.

Marvelous.

Let's catch up with Team Nads.

I feel like I will never holiday anywhere else other than Scotland.

(LAUGHS) And I need this car.

I know.

It's the dream team in the dream car...

Car.

In the dream land.

Yes.

I mean, look at it!

I mean, we just look like the people everybody wants to be, don't we?

We do.

We feel so flash.

(LAUGHS) Talk about enthusiasm!

Now, Tim is taking foodie Nadia just north of Selkirk, in the Scottish Borders.

They're meeting baker Craig Murray, to find out about a simple foodstuff that for centuries provided vital sustenance and is still eaten today.

Ah, here he is, the man.

Hi Craig!

Hi Nadia, hi... How are you?

Thank you for bringing us to this beautiful place.

It is stunning.

Now as you can see, we're slap bang in the middle of the Scottish Borders here.

A few hundred years ago, it probably wouldn't have been a very nice place to live.

Right.

People would have lived in little farm cottages and things round about the countryside, and it would have been a pretty tough existence for them.

Yeah.

Freezing cold.

In the winter, it would have been, yeah.

NADIA: No pub.

CRAIG: That's right.

VO: Cold in the summer up here too.

Ha!

For centuries, many rural Scots eked out a subsistence living on small holdings called crofts.

It was a wretched life.

Money was scant and food was often more for sustenance than flavor.

And there was no telly.

What would they have eaten?

Em, one of the staple foods was bannocks.

But what is a bannock?

A bannock is a round baked product.

It originally would be made with whatever the people had lying about, if it was oats or grains or barley, or whatever.

And they would mix it with maybe lard, or butter if they had butter.

And they would bake it on a stone.

They'd make them through the summer when they had ingredients and then store them up through the winter and survive on them.

VO: The energy laden oatcakes were perfect and could last for days in a crofter's pocket.

During the Highland clearances of the 19th century, many crofters were forced to move to the Scottish lowlands, or emigrate to North America.

And they took the bannock recipe with them.

In America, the locally grown oats of Scotland were replaced with corn.

But in Scotland, where the industrial revolution saw standards of living rise, the humble bannock became richer and fruitier.

VO: In 1890 Craig's great, great grandfather Alex Delgatty opened a small bakery in Galashiels.

And his recipe for 'Selkirk bannocks' is still used today.

Oh, I'm happy, I'm happy.

I can smell flour.

I can smell leftover cake.

(LAUGHS) Has there been cake in here?

You can smell cakes, yes.

Oooh, oh.

Is... is that a bannock?

(LAUGHS) That's what an original bannock might have looked like, all those hundreds of years ago.

Can I touch it?

You can touch it if you want.

Oh my goodness.

Oh, life was hard, wasn't it?

Freezing cold.

Raining, driving rain.

Tending to the land.

And then you get that for dinner.

Might it have had anything on top?

Eh, probably not.

They might have just eaten it as it is.

Should we try some?

No.

No.

(LAUGHS) This is an antiques show.

We're, you know, fascinated by history.

We should have a bite of this... We should, come on.

..and take ourselves back to a crofter's life.

Oh my goodness.

VO: Tasty?

Look at your bite compared to mine.

How brave you are.

Oh my goodness.

I'm so greedy.

Hmm.

That is dry.

(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) VO: Thankfully, the Selkirk bannock Craig makes is a lot more appetizing.

Take two bannocks at a time.

OK, you're molding them.

Yep, just exactly not like that.

(LAUGHS) Give it a wee flatten out onto the tins.

They're big, aren't they?

Yeah.

Make about 300 every day.

Wow.

Do you want to grab the docker?

Which is the big thing with nails in it.

NADIA: Is it an antique?

CRAIG: It is an antique.

NADIA: How old is it?

TIM: Is it?

It's...goodness knows how old that is.

What, hundreds?

Aye, it could easily be 100 years old, yeah.

It's been in your family for a long time?

NADIA: It could be 100 years old!

TIM: Wow.

CRAIG: Make sure there's no wee air bubbles left in the top.

NADIA: We'll go and play in the sand pit after this.

CRAIG: (LAUGHS) VO: Looking scrumptious but they still need proving and baking.

We can't wait.

OK.

So, can't you give us some?

(LAUGHS) Yeah, I've got one right here that we can try.

Oh my God!

Mmm.

Oh yeah.

Mmm.

You can taste the history.

Mm, you can.

Thank you.

VO: Yummy.

(LAUGHS) Look at her go!

NADIA: (MUFFLED) They're really good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Missing you already!

VO: Save some for me!

This way, this way.

(LAUGHS) VO: (LAUGHS) She's as daft as a brush!

Now, what's the chat in the Morgan then?

Well Kaye, you should be happy now.

We've bought lots of things.

We've spent lots of money.

KAYE: And we've still got £140 left.

ANITA: Yes.

Oh I really, really hope that we just walk in here and something hits us between the eyes.

ANITA: Yeah.

VO: Fingers crossed, then.

VO: Kaye and Anita have headed to South Queensferry... VO: ..across the Firth of Forth from where they began.

This historic burgh dates right back to the 13th century, and is home to maritime-themed antiques and curios shop, Sea Kist.

That's original.

Here we are!

The Sea Kist.

Ooh nice.

Me old hearty.

(LAUGHS) Now stop it with the maritime gags!

VO: Quite right.

A sea kist was a chest filled with a seafarer's most precious items.

But what treasures can Kaye and Anita find?

That's nice.

And a sea kist of sorts.

Hm.

What about this, Anita?

That's a lovely box, isn't it?

Yeah.

I like this marquetry, is that what you call that?

That's right.

Where each of these little pieces has been cut out and then put together like a jigsaw... Jigsaw.

..puzzle.

Beautiful box.

Beautiful condition on the outside.

And when we open the lid, it reveals lots of compartments... Hm.

..which would have been used to hold your rings, your bangles, your kirby grips.

(LAUGHS) Your false eyelashes!

VO: Mine are natural, thanks.

If we lift this here, there is a little compartment underneath.

So maybe necklaces.

Love letters.

VO: Blow me down.

Ticket price, £140.

Ha!

This is a contender.

Oh yeah?

Very good.

But it's all down to the price and well done for you spotting it again.

VO: Time to speak to dealer Jenni.

Hello.

Kaye and I were looking at this box.

It's lovely.

Mm-hm.

What is the very, very, very best that you can do... Best price on it?

I could do 70.

ANITA: 70?

JENNI: Mm-hm.

That sounds like a good deal.

I said to you, I would love to walk into this next shop before we'd been in and have something go bing.

And I think our box has gone bing.

VO: Couldn't have put it better myself.

So, £70 please, Kaye.

That's lovely.

Thank you very much.

We have ourselves a beautiful box.

Yeah, we do.

VO: We certainly do.

And that, my darlings, is all your shopping done.

And that can only mean one thing!

Well, that's it.

Hamilton auctions, here we come!

Here we come!

So, will it be exciting?

I think our buys are so exciting that we are going to have no problems.

There's going to be loads of bidders there.

They'll fly away.

VO: Time will tell, oh confident one.

Sweet dreams.

VO: Good morrow!

It's auction day!

Whoopee!

I haven't been to an auction ever before, have you?

No, I don't think so.

I think I've been to a cattle auction, funnily enough.

But... Really?

Why?

..I've never been to anything like this.

Why were you at a cattle auction?

I don't know.

It's been a long life.

(LAUGHS) VO: After starting their shopping spree in Inverkeithing, Nadia and Kaye whizzed around the Firth of Forth and are now headed to auction in Hamilton.

(IMMITATES CATTLE AUCTIONEER) (LAUGHS) I hope they do that!

I love it when they do that.

Do you think they'll do that?

(IMMITATES CATTLE AUCTIONEER) Bomp!

VO: I think they've lost it.

L.S.

Smellie Auctions is a family run business established way back in 1874.

Today, the mod cons of online and telephone bids, plus electricity, will add to the auction action.

Hey!

Hey!

NADIA: (LAUGHS) How you doing?

Oh ho!

KAYE: Don't worry.

NADIA: Ready for some fun?

How are you doing?

Are you ready for some auction fun?

NADIA: Oh my God, I can't wait.

I just can't wait to see my puppet.

Aw.

Come on, let's get in there.

I'm so excited about my puppet.

(LAUGHS) On you come.

KAYE: Oh God.

ANITA: OK, girls.

Yep, let's go do it.

The moment of truth!

Yep, absolutely.

NADIA: Let's do it.

VO: Yeah, let's.

Kaye and Anita spent 327 of their £400 on five auction lots, including the art deco bracelet.

Oooh.

It's a bit twinkly.

Look at that.

Oh wow.

It's a bit twinkly.

So what we've got here are diamonds.

Diamonds?!

Fake diamonds.

(LAUGHS) I was gonna say, blimey, someone's cheating here.

This is a bit of vintage costume jewelry.

It's very 1912.

I mean, yes, it's twinkly.

And I was a bit upset about that as we moved towards it.

But now, I don't care about it at all.

Oh well.

Well... Oh, there we go.

..we'll see what happens.

You might find a couple of people that want a bit of costume jewelry.

And... but I doubt it.

There you go.

VO: Nadia and Tim spent £359 of their 400, also on five lots.

What do their rivals make of Nadia's pride and joy?

Can I have a wee look at this guy?

Yeah, he's great.

Oh, a little Bambi?

Is it a little Bambi?

(LAUGHS) KAYE: I like this.

ANITA: Yes.

I do think this is nice.

It's got a real charm, hasn't it?

Nadia thinks it's her.

Look at the eyes!

Yeah, look at the eyelashes.

(LAUGHS) Batting her eyelids.

This is a big puppet.

Generally, Pelham puppets... Yeah.

So Pelham Puppets is famous, isn't it?

And we see lots of them.

Yeah.

They, em... they're much smaller than that.

Right.

So this is gonna be, because it's bigger, because it's more unusual, it will be more desirable.

Uh-huh.

And what... And, who could resist?

Oops!

VO: Yikes.

(LAUGHS) What have you... What have you done, Anita?

(LAUGHS) VO: She's broken it!

ANITA: Kaye... KAYE: No!

..do you have any chewing gum?

VO: (LAUGHS) Don't you involve me in this, Anita, man.

Nothing to see here, people, nothing to see.

Just move on.

VO: Yeah, it had had a previous repair.

Still, the warnings were there.

"Very fragile."

Honestly, that wasn't sabotage.

(LAUGHS) VO: Not much.

Here we go, then.

Time to 'fess up, eh?

Oh.

Hi guys.

Hi, how are you?

Aw, we were just... How are you?

Hello.

..looking at your eh, toys.

And didn't we love Bambi?

You particularly loved Bambi, didn't you?

I really...

He's great, isn't he?

..really, really loved Bambi.

But...

I've got something to tell you.

NADIA: Oh God.

TIM: Oh no.

What?

You've broken it?

You've broken it!

(GASPS) Did you drop Bambi?

You've not broken it?!

We couldn't... we, we couldn't help playing with it.

(GASPS) We couldn't help it.

(LAUGHS) You've broken Bambi.

Who was it that did that?

No, Anita, we've got it on camera.

Hang on a minute!

It was me.

It was me!

Hang...

I did it, I did it.

It was Mrs Manning in the auction room with the antler.

I meant to embrace it.

I wanted to pick it up.

And I picked it up by the antler and it came off.

You picked it up by the antler?!

What kind of an antiques expert are you?

You picked it...even me... Oh my God, I hate myself.

..an idiot from Southampton knows you don't pick it... SHRIEKING VO: (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) This is a disaster!

VO: (LAUGHS) I can't believe it.

Anyway, when they refix the antler, let's hear from auctioneer Andrew Smellie.

(GAVEL) The marquetry box, a very nice box.

All the lids are there, so it's complete.

That makes a big difference to it.

It'll certainly make £100-120 today.

Steiff monkeys, very collectable.

The remnants of the tags are still there, should help them easily do £100-150 today.

VO: Jolly good.

Right, gather round you rowdy rabble.

It's auction time!

Grandstand seats!

Ringside seats.

(LAUGHS) I'm excited.

I've never been to an auction before.

I feel a bit nervous.

You've never been to an auction... Don't talk to me, you murderer.

VO: (LAUGHS) VO: Forgive and forget.

First under the gavel, Kaye's Glasgow jug.

AUCTIONEER: £30.

ANITA: Come on, come on!

AUCTIONEER: 20.

(LAUGHS) 10 for a start.

Six I have online.

Six, eight.

In the room.

£8.

A bid there, a bid there, a bid there with 10.

12.

14.

16.

18.

Yes!

Yes!

20.

20 on the left I have.

£20.

22 online.

Yes!

(LAUGHS) AUCTIONEER: 22.

22 online.

22.

Come on, come on.

One more, one more, one... 24.

ANITA: Aw yes!

AUCTIONEER: 24 over there.

24.

26.

Yes!

Wooo!

(LAUGHS) AUCTIONEER: 26.

28.

Go on sir.

28.

28 in the room.

Are we all finished here?

£28.

(GAVEL) Woah!

Is that good?

Is that good?

VO: Great start.

VO: Well done Kaye.

Who would think that... Murderer.

(LAUGHS) ..you could get that much joy out of £6 profit?

But a profit is a profit.

VO: OK, Nadia and Tim's first lot is next.

The two brooches.

Interest here.

85, 90. five, 100.

Online we have a £100, we have.

110 in the room.

(SQUEALS) Sorry.

120.

130.

140.

150.

NADIA: Yes!

AUCTIONEER: 160.

Aw no!

170.

170, back of the room I have.

170, 170.

180.

190.

190, I have.

200.

200 I'm bid.

All finished here?

£200.

(GAVEL) VO: Wowee!

Look at that.

Superb!

Well, that's a good start anyway.

That's a very good start!

So what's that... And I thought we'd made a good start with £6!

(LAUGHS) VO: Up next, it's blue lorry, yellow lorry.

Kaye's toy trucks.

14 in the room.

14.

14 I'm bid.

£14 I'm bid.

Left I have it.

Come on!

14, 16.

16, 18.

18 now.

£18 I'm bid.

20.

Online.

22.

22.

Come on!

Come on!

What did we do that for?

Were you drunk?

(LAUGHS) 26.

26 I have in the room on the left.

26 I'm bid.

All finished at 28?

Online, still going.

30.

Yes!

30 in the room.

30 I'm bid.

£30, I've got 30, I'm bid 30.

Are we all finished here?

Get excited, yes.

KAYE: Yes!

AUCTIONEER: £30.

(GAVEL) VO: Aw, bad luck.

VO: Got to take the rough with the smooth in this game.

We're minus four and they're plus 140.

Yeah, don't worry.

Don't worry about it.

VO: Yeah, it's way too early to call.

Now, let's see how Nadia's silver-plated comporte fares.

14 I'm bid, online I have 14.

16.

18.

20.

(LAUGHS) 22.

24.

26.

28.

30.

30 I'm bid.

£30 in the room I have.

35.

35.

40.

Let the light catch it, hold it in the light.

Imagine it on a polished table with lemons in it.

Lemons, imagine the lemons.

£50, 55.

Ah!

Imagine lemons in it.

60.

I'm bid 60.

Are we all finished?

£60.

(GAVEL) VO: Another great profit, and Nadia stays ahead, look at that.

(LAUGHS) Fantastic.

High five, that one.

A bit of tat.

Fantastic.

VO: Steady.

Kaye's marquetry box is next.

Fingers crossed.

100 for it.

50.

50 for a start?

Worth all of that.

Come on.

Show the top.

Show them the lid.

AUCTIONEER: 30 I'm bid.

£30 I'm bid, 30.

Show them the lid!

Show them the lid!

60 bid, five.

70.

70 I'm bid, in the book I have.

70 I'm bid, £70 I'm bid.

£70, five.

TIM: Yes!

AUCTIONEER: 80.

80, I'm bid.

Well done.

Ah, Tim, you're such a lovely boy.

Thank you.

90.

90 I'm bid.

£90, at 90 bid, five.

£90.

TIM: He's getting there.

KAYE: Yay!

He's getting there.

Stop rooting for them!

Sorry, sorry.

I would've rooted for them if they hadn't broken Bambi.

£100, all finished here?

£100.

(GAVEL) VO: Brilliant, they're back in profit.

Keep it up, Kaye.

Well done.

Well done, guys.

Thank you, well, they're still kind of smirking, aren't they, though?

Well done!

Look, look, look, look.

VO: (LAUGHS) VO: Up next, it's Nadia's fire extinguisher.

10 I'm bid.

10 I'm bid.

10, 12.

14.

16.

18.

20.

Two.

22 down here.

Oh!

Have you been making eyes at that bidder?

NADIA: (LAUGHS) 24.

26.

26 I have, in the room now.

26.

28 online.

28 online here.

£28.

All finished?

(GAVEL) VO: Pride comes before a fall.

Nadia's first loss.

Ah!

VO: Next, Kaye's impulse buy, and her most expensive, the art deco bracelet.

20 I'm bid.

£20.

20 I'm bid.

20.

I feel a bit nervous for you.

24.

26.

28.

30.

Five.

40.

40, back in the room, I have.

40 I'm bid.

£40.

Five.

50.

50 I'm bid.

£50, all finished?

Oh, come on!

Be nice if you made some money now, I feel a bit bad for you.

Ah!

60 I'm bid.

£60.

60 I'm bid.

All finished here?

£60.

(GAVEL) VO: Ah, what a shame.

It didn't bedazzle the bidders.

It's maybe just that the right people weren't at the right... Yeah.

It's like our pump.

..sale on the right day.

VO: Now, what about this monkey business?

Three's a crowd.

80 for that online.

Straight in.

Come on, we've got a long way to go.

85.

90, five.

100.

100 I'm bid.

100 I have.

110.

120, 130.

130 I'm bid.

140.

Come on.

AUCTIONEER: 150 I'm bid.

I'll be just glad if we make 160 on this.

Oh, we're so close.

We're so close.

160.

Yes, we made it back.

170.

All out online.

170 I'm bid.

You could have a new career.

I know, you could.

Keep going, one more.

All finished here?

170.

(GAVEL) VO: So, a modest profit.

Well done.

Yay!

Well done.

170.

Aw, well done.

They even made a tenner on that.

Oh no!

On the monkeys.

VO: Last chance saloon for Kaye now.

Her umbrella stand is next.

80 I'm bid, in the book I have.

80 I'm bid.

90.

100.

110.

120.

You're in profit.

AUCTIONEER: 130.

140.

That's good.

We need 500.

150 I have.

160.

160 in the room.

All out online.

1-6-0.

(GAVEL) VO: Fantastic.

VO: It's done her proud.

Well, that's alright.

Well done.

And it's a... Has that cheered you up?

No.

VO: Chin up, Kaye.

Now, lookie here.

Nadia's last lot, the Pelham puppet, is all perky again and fully restored.

Will it pull some heart strings?

130 we have online.

130?

Oh my God.

(LAUGHS) Yes!

It's the most... make it walk, make it walk!

Show them what it's like when it walks.

NADIA: (LAUGHS) Oh, it's magical!

190 we have online.

Let's go home.

It is beautiful.

He said that is beautiful.

He just said that is beautiful.

AUCTIONEER: 200.

NADIA: 200!

200 online.

Oh wow.

AUCTIONEER: All we all out in the room?

Come on, keep going.

Come on!

In the room.

220 I'm at.

220, 220.

(LAUGHS) Online, online.

2-2-0.

(GAVEL) Aww!

I don't want it to go, I love it.

I want it.

Oh he's cute.

VO: Aw.

Blimey!

VO: What a great result to end the auction on.

She's never going to let you forget this.

No, I'm gonna get it for years to come.

Is she still your best pal?

(LAUGHS) We'll leave that till tomorrow.

(LAUGHS) Shall we go and get a cuppa?

KAYE: Yeah.

ANITA: Yeah, let's go.

VO: Before you go, let's do some sums.

VO: Kaye and Anita began with £400 and after auction costs, they made a small loss of just over £17.

Their final figure is £382.96 (GAVEL) VO: Nadia and Tim started with the same amount but made a hale and hearty profit.

Once fees are considered, they made £196.96 profit.

Well done!

And all that profit goes to Children In Need.

TIM: There we are.

NADIA: Thanks guys!

See you soon.

Safe drive.

We love you!

Thank you for the greatest time.

KAYE: Bye.

ANITA: Bye bye.

NADIA: Ta ra!

(LAUGHS) TIM: Bye bye.

NADIA: Hey, winner!

Ah.

# The winner takes it all!

# Oh, shut up!

# La la la la!

# VO: (LAUGHS) Toodaloo!

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